What Can Kids Teach You About Building a Great Relationship and Marriage?

Did you ever notice a couple of teens getting hot and heavy in a public place? Ever wish you could go back to those days? You can, if you’ll just let yourself…

Those of you who have read “THE Man’s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage” understand how and why a small boy knows more about attracting a female than most adult males seem to. Have you ever wondered what else you might learn from children about how to be an adult, or at least how to enjoy being one? Ask Dawn:

Dear David,

I am not sure how to word this so it does not sound like I have been spying on my daughter. The truth is at 16 I do watch her closely, probably a lot more then most parents.

There is one major thing that I have noticed about her and her new boyfriend is how they look and talk to each other. At such a young age they seem to understand many of the things you talk about better then most men who have many more years on them. Its just seems so open and honest and that the attraction between the two of them is not only red hot but that it is what as an adult I want in a man.

How can it be they know at their tender age so much about attraction and all the older men I know seem to know nothing?

Dawn

My reply:

Well Dawn, it’s not what they know, it’s what they don’t know. In fact, it’s what they’ve not yet learned: inhibition! Their hormones are raging and their youth and inexperience is making the exploration of themselves and each other exciting, so once they get past the awkwardness of the invitation to the first date and get into each other, they could care less about whether they’ve gained a couple of pounds, they have a little razor stubble, whether the kids might walk through the bedroom door and catch them, what might be going on at work next week, what that noise downstairs might have been, whether the dry cleaning has been picked up, what their friends or family might be doing, or any of the other things that men and women allow to interfere with their “quality time.”

They just let go, and do what comes naturally. When was the last time that you tried it? You say you want that kind of heat and passion, but who’s keeping you from having it, other than yourself? Don’t worry about two pounds you gained during the holidays; when the lights are out or his eyes are closed, he’ll never be able to tell the difference, except you might feel just a little better pulled up close to him.

I’d just as quickly chastise the men for letting things interfere with passion in this manner. “Lock the damned bedroom door, for crying out loud! Get yourself up to Alpha Male standards, fire that woman up, and get into her and let her get into you like you did when you were teenagers. Worry about what’s going on at work next week when next week gets here, or while you’re at work tomorrow morning. Unless that noise downstairs is followed by a scream, a barking animal, an alarm bell, a crash or explosion, or the sound of an adult voice cursing, it can wait until after you and your partner have enjoyed each other.”

There is no aphrodisiac in the world that will guarantee good sex tonight or tomorrow night (or in the morning!) like good sex last night! Don’t let the world put a damper on your sex life. If you need a little help turning the clock back, go to a drive-in instead of renting a DVD, or get a room in a cheap hotel, not the kind you would rent today, but the kind you rented when you were a teenager and weren’t supposed to be renting a room! Add that seedy, naughty flavor to the mix, and play up the mischief, nostalgia, and “getting away with something” angles. Have fun with it – and each other!

Take care, and keep in touch,
David Cunningham

Gentlemen, everywhere you look is something that can help you to revive and enhance your relationship if you know what to look for. Knowing what to look for comes from having that romantic, can-do hero’s attitude and knowing what women want. You don’t have to be young, rich, powerful, or drive a fancy car to get your wife’s attention; you just have to be a man, a REAL man who enjoys living and leading as a man, the man she went crazy over and married. If you want to keep her attention, you keep her guessing, not at whether you’ll be around tomorrow, or have a job next week, but at what kind of excitement you’re going to create for her today. Will it be walking into a room like you own it, telling a grand tale, or whisking her off to some fun place or activity? The choice is yours, and she expects you to make it.

Women have affairs because they are bored, not because they don’t love their husbands anymore; lost love comes well after lost attraction, if it comes at all. (And for you ladies reading, the same thing is true of men!) Have you ever heard that bit, “I love you, but I’m not in love with you anymore,”? That “in love” bit is attraction, not love.

All you need to become a master of attraction and supreme boredom-fighter, the confident ultimate male who knows what women, especially his partner, want is contained in “THE Man’s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage,” and you procrastinate at reading and using it at your own peril. Get ahead of the curve and stay there by going to http://www.makingherhappy.com and downloading your copy right now, and bring back that passion, intimacy, and honeymoon, because life’s too short to spend it playing catch-up.

In the meantime, live well, be well, and have a wonderful day!
David Cunningham

Relationship and Marriage Success Story: What Attraction REALLY Feels Like to a Woman

A woman writes to describe how overwhelming her feelings of attraction are. It’s a real eye-opener!

I don’t know how things are in your neck of the woods, but where I am, you couldn’t ask for more beautiful weather, at least when the occasional momentary thunderstorm isn’t dumping a quick deluge on my cars and garden, saving me the trouble of washing and watering, respectively! It’s time to throw a few racks of ribs in the smoker and have friends over!

I got a letter from a new subscriber last night, and I’d like to share it with you, because he asks a very important question, and about as succinctly as possible. Meet Brad:

Hi David,

What does this “attraction” you talk about feel like to a woman?

Thanks,
Brad

I got another wonderful letter in December from a female reader that goes a long way toward answering the question, the kind that really makes this job a pleasure, and we’ll start with that, because there’s nothing like going to the source when you need to know something. Meet Bethany:

Dear David,

I hope this letter finds you and your family doing well this holiday season. As the seasons change and the temperature becomes colder that is when you really get to know a person when most of the time you are in close quarters during the cold weather. I guess for some this may seem like a death sentence, but for a few of us lucky ones it is the best time of the year.

What I wanted to share with you today is something that happened to me just a couple of days ago and when I finally understood just how strong attraction can be and knew it was worth all the work we had to do to make it happen. My husband and I have been working really hard on making our marriage as close to perfect as one can hope for, and with your book it finally seems that we have it all. I have never in my life loved being with anyone the way I do this man and yes I know he feels the same for me.

We both work hard, and we have six wonderful children to keep us busy at home, so we try our best throughout the long days we put in we make time for each other. For instance this past Friday my husband and I meet at a local restaurant near his office to have lunch. We ate and talked and I loved just sitting there with him and looking into his eyes as he smiled at me when the conversation made reference to what we wanted to do later on that night at home. I could talk with him for hours and never be bored. I have never been so happy in my life, but then the check came and it was time to leave and go our separate ways for the rest of the afternoon. I was really upset because I did not want to leave just yet, but I knew we had to. I never said anything to him as he walked me to my car and kissed me and told me he would see me later.

In the car however driving back I became so upset I started to cry. At first I was not sure why I was upset, but then I knew why. I did not want to go back to work, I wanted Allen my husband to take me home and to spend the rest of the afternoon in bed with me. I was just so attracted to him I wanted to drop everything for that day and be with him. It did not matter to me that we both have jobs that if we are not on top of things we will miss major orders that leads to paydays for us. I should have just called him. I wouldn’t have had to say much for him to know something was wrong and he probably would have figured out what pretty fast because he’s gotten so good at reading me. But we both need to work because keeping six kids fed on what we make doesn’t leave a whole lot of room for play time.

What I am saying is that I am so attracted to this man (I know how you hate it when people say “in love”) I was willing to give up half of a day of work and maybe even my job just to be with him and spend time alone. I think about it every day that we are not together and I know we have to work, but the attraction for him is so strong all I want is for him to have sex with me all the time, to feel his body next to mine and his lips kissing me. I never thought that I could truly say I would kill for attraction, but I know now that I could and would if anyone came between me and this man I love so much.

Thank you so much for making my marriage the one thing in this world that I want to keep for the rest of my life and giving me a real man one that is all I have ever dreamed of.

Bethany

You’re most welcome Bethany, and thank you very much for taking the time to write and tell me about it. People are always very eager to write or call someone to complain, but so seldom take the time to say “Thank you” or to tell someone that things went well for them. If we all took an extra minute or two out of our day to let those around us know that we appreciate the time they give us, the world would indeed be a happier place. Think about this…

Life is the most precious of all resources, and your own life is the most precious of the precious, at least if you are mentally and emotionally healthy, because not one second of it that passes can ever be replenished, and when someone thinks enough of you to give you some portion of their life, you owe them the appreciation due such a gift. Indeed, respect the time of others as being a measure of their life, and make an effort to show up on time and conduct yourself in a way that does not waste the time and life of others.

Okay, I’m getting down off my stump now. So how would you describe the feelings Bethany is speaking of here? Rather honeymoonish? Somewhat unusual for two people who have been married long enough to have six kids? You’re quite right! It is unusual, but nowhere near impossible, nor abnormal. Being happy together in a good relationship is a natural state for two well-matched people to enjoy, especially when they can communicate well with each other and enjoy doing so. If you’re not there too, you’re missing out, but you can fix it. How?

Do what Allen and Bethany did! Jump over to http://www.makingherhappy.com and download your copy of “THE Man’s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage,” because it will get you there if you just take advantage of the experience of the 118 couples who tested everything that went into the book. Life’s too short to spend it any way but happy, so get moving!

In the meantime, live well, be well, and have a wonderful day!
David Cunningham

Why Bother Making a Great Relationship and Marriage, or Fixing a Bad One?

Why should you want and expect to make an effort to fix a strained relationship? I couldn’t even type that question with a straight face, but some people really don’t know, and actually think that it’s easier to put up with pain, frustration, boredom, etc., or the stress of extramarital affairs. Wrong! Read, and get the real scoop…

I just got the most ridiculous e-mail I think I’ve ever received. I have always maintained a policy of keeping all comments about reader mail positive, but occasionally I get one that is just so downright idiotic that it makes me want to grab the sender and shake them really hard to try to wake them up. I’m not going release this reader’s name, and I want to make it clear that I am in no way saying that this reader is an idiot; I am however, stating emphatically that what they say is something I would expect from either a moron or somebody really emotionally damaged, not from someone intelligent enough to be able to write a letter like this one.

Dear David,

I’ve been reading your newsletter for several weeks now, and I really can’t see why I should have to go through all this trouble to please my wife. We’ve been married for 8 years, and have followed the same routine pretty much since we got married. I work, she keeps the house and takes care of the kids. In the evening, I watch TV or go to the bar while she helps the kids with their homework. If I fall asleep on the couch she doesn’t bother me, and if I come home late from the bar she’s asleep in the bed and doesn’t say anything. We don’t talk much, don’t go anywhere, and everything’s fine. What’s the deal?

Bob

My reply:

Well, “Bob,” (the name has been changed to protect the ignorant), let’s look at a few things from a logical point-of-view:

• You’ve been reading my newsletter for several weeks, but you say there’s no problem? You’re letter doesn’t paint a picture of you being a proactive achiever, so I’m not buying that, and I hope you’re not either.


• Doing the same thing, day in and day out for 8 years, and there’s no problem? Ladies, you are cordially invited to write in and comment on this one! (Please feel free to comment on anything at any time, but I’m asking you specifically for your reactions here to help this guy see that unless he’s married to “Rain Man” he’s got a serious problem with a bored wife.)


• You frequently go to the bar while she stays home with the kids, and sit in front of the TV on “non-bar” nights? Why aren’t you doing something with the wife and kids at least a couple of nights a week? No problem, huh?


• You fall asleep on the couch and she doesn’t wake you up and tell you to come to bed, or throw a blanket over you, or say something about it the next day? Can you say “bored and disinterested”? But I guess that’s not a problem, either, even though that’s a recipe for your wife to be seeing other men while you’re at work and the kids are in school.


• Don’t talk much? Don’t go anywhere? And you call that fine? And you think that she thinks that’s fine? At this point, I’m wondering if you’ve beaten her to the point that she sees “no beatings” as being the same as “happy marriage.”

I don’t know what you’re situation or problem really is, and until you come clean about all the contradictions and omissions in your letter, there’s not a thing I can do to help you, except possibly to point out a few universal truths that might motivate you to take a realistic look at your situation.

Let’s start with the old adage, “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.” Even if you or somebody else has damaged your wife to the point that she really would rather live the life she’s living than to see positive change, is this what YOU really want? A robot who cleans the house, cooks, and keeps the laundry and house clean and the kids out of your way? I suppose next you’re going to tell us that they based several episodes of “The Sopranos” on your life.

And how about “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”? If your letter paints an accurate picture of your home life, you’ve completely turned your back on your family except for giving them whatever part of your paycheck they receive.

Do you really think they, especially your wife and the mother of your kids, are going to go on accepting being ignored indefinitely? Women and kids both do things to get attention, even the wrong kind of attention, when you don’t give it to them freely and willingly. Do you relish the thought of coming home and finding your wife in bed with another man? Or going to a local jail to bail one or more of your kids out for shoplifting, or worse, some kind of gang-related mishap? Get a clue, because it’s coming.

Bob, the best thing I can tell you right now is “wake up and smell the coffee.” You deserve better than the life you describe, and so does your family, and the choice is entirely yours. If your job is sufficient to pay the bills and provide you several bar nights per week without your wife working, then you’re doing well enough to do some things with your family.

You’re in a rut, and you’re not going to come out of it by just holding the wheel loosely and letting things just go where they want to go. Turn the wheel and get out of the rut. "THE Man’s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage" is full of motivational stuff that will help you feel deserving of such a life, but you should already be feeling some sort of longing for it or you wouldn’t be reading this newsletter and writing such a letter as you wrote, so what’s your real story? C’mon, lay it on me. I can take it. Can you?

Or are you afraid that the truth will hurt too much? Maybe you’re one of those “comfortably unhappy” people. I don’t know, but together, we can find out.

Take care, and wake up,
David

Folks, there’s no reason to continue living a life that you aren’t loving to live. The first thing to do when you find yourself in a hole is to stop digging, isn’t it? Whatever has put you in trouble must be stopped immediately or inertia (that physics principle that says that an object in motion will tend to remain in motion and an object at rest will tend to remain at rest until some external force acts upon them, remember?) will just keep right on digging you in deeper.

Stop digging. If you don’t know what you’ve done to make your relationship a mess, go to

http://www.makingherhappy.com and download your copy of “THE Man’s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage;” I’ll guarantee you that the answer is in there. Together, we can get you where you need and want to be, if you’ll just take this step in the right direction, and life is indeed too short to spend it digging yourself a deeper hole, is it not?

In the meantime, live well, be well, and have a wonderful day!
David Cunningham