Tuesday, April 12, 2011

The Fool, the Smart, and the Wise -- Which One Wins in Relationships and Marriage?

There are three kinds of people, the foolish, the smart, and the wise. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to become wise, learning from the mistakes and successes of others and thereby avoid the mistakes that others have made, especially in regards to your relationship and marriage. Here’s how…

This weekend is coming! Time to buckle down and learn something useful to put to work this coming week, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, you’ve got plenty of time for beer and sports, so give me a few minutes here to teach you something productive, albeit in one of the longer pieces I’ve given you (just a few extra paragraphs, so don’t panic), and then you can go out and play with your friends.

Wait, speaking of the weekend, I will be largely unavailable from the time you see this post until Tuesday morning. I’m going to a reunion with some of the surviving members of my Special Forces unit and others I’ve worked with over the years, and I’ll be spending a lot of time coaching some of them, among other things. Platinum Access members, in case you missed the e-mail, I will be checking voicemail approximately hourly, so don’t panic if you get my voicemail when you call. If any of you have any issue with my limited availability this weekend, let me know and we can either make an appointment to connect or I’ll refund the month’s fee for you. I rarely take time off, but when I do, it’s going to be at nobody’s expense but my own. Forum members, I’ll try to keep up with you at bedtime and upon waking.

Let’s get into today’s lesson…

I had a pretty tough childhood because I was precocious and insisted on knowing everything. That in itself is tough, but I was also independent, and wanted to know everything, even if it meant learning it the hard way through trial and error. I learned a lot, too.

On the day my military career started, I was labeled a “maverick,” a guy who has a hard time getting with the program because he has a knack for finding a better way to do things and doesn’t toe the line when he should. I got through basic training, and then got into some really sticky situations.

Nobody got hurt or killed because of my choices or actions, but hellfire did rain down on my head a few times, because for every few “atta-boy’s” I’d get for going above and beyond the call, there would be an “oh sh*t” to negate them in one fell stroke. My commanding officer was constantly running interference for me with the big brass, and finally everything came to a head and I was ordered to report to my CO’s CO, a two-star general who shall remain nameless for a variety of reasons, for an “operational competency review.”

After introductions and the traditional reading of my file (I still don’t know why they go through that little ritual, and I’m not sure they do), the general said to me, “Cunningham, you’re smart, too damned smart for your own good. I need you to wise up before you compromise an op and get yourself or one of my other men killed. Do you know the difference?”

Everybody in my unit, including myself, was barely 19, full of piss and vinegar, drawing hazardous duty pay, and got off on all the gung ho ritual language; in true gung-ho form I replied, “Sir, I do not know. If the general would explain the difference I will deploy that knowledge in a swift, proficient, and distinctly military manner.” I had no idea what he meant by, “The difference,” let alone what “the difference was, so it seemed like a good time to let him to all the talking.

He got a glint in his eye and said, “Very well. There are three kinds of people in the world, the foolish, the smart, and the wise. The foolish are those grab-asstic pieces of crap who waste time and life by never learning from their mistakes. The smart do learn from their mistakes, even if they are like you and make a lot of them because they want to be smarter. The wise move through life with patience and purpose, paying attention to what’s going on around them and learning from the mistakes and successes of others so that they don’t waste time and life making the same mistakes that others have made before them.

“I need you and every man under my command to be a wise man. We have a system here that is based on the mistakes and successes of those who came before you. It is not perfect, but it does work. You may be able to improve upon it, but you will do so by following the system during operations and providing any feedback you have during the post-operation debriefing. We want anything you can offer that will help to achieve objectives and save the lives of well-trained fighting men, but the time to deviate from the program is not when you are taking fire. That is your CO’s job, and my job, not yours. Do you get me?”

I thought he was somewhat full of crap because “improvise, adapt, and overcome” seems to be an integral part of my constitution, but I never forgot that bit about the foolish, the smart, and the wise, and had to accept it. My mission changed from trying to do it all on my own to trying to learn everything I could the most efficient way that I could, which for the most part has been to watch and learn from the behavior of others. To that end, we’re going to have an exercise right now to show you just how much you can learn from somebody else, even someone you don’t expect to have anything to teach you.

The following letter is one of the many success stories I’ve received. I chose it for this exercise because it explodes a myth and because on the surface it doesn’t even appear to be relevant to saving a stale or failing marriage or other committed relationship, yet it holds some of the best lessons you’ll ever learn. Meet Tom:

David,

I wanted to take a moment to give you some feedback. My wife and I were recently divorced after 15 years of marriage. We are both in our early 50's. I worked really hard to save my marriage using logic.

I lost her to a bad boy. He is a real bum, without a job and still lives with his mother even though he is in his 50's. What a real mooch.

For the longest time I tried to apply logic to what was happening to my marriage and I failed to understand just what was going wrong. I guess I was too ingrained into my habitual patterns. It was only after the divorce that I started to get your material and receive your newsletters. WOW. Boy, was I ever wrong in my approach to women. I did all the nice guy stuff and provided a good home, clothes, jewelry, cars etc. I worked my ass off to provide for her.

As I started to read your material I came to realize what a bad relationship I had been in and what really went wrong.

I came to realize that I had failed to create attraction in her although I had her affection. That was my fault. The dishonesty (for many years), the deceit, the cheating, the character defects, etc., are all her fault. In many ways our divorce is a blessing in disguise.

I have followed your advice and that of David DeAngelo's program of Sexual Communication. Man what a difference it has made in my life and my approach to dating. I am now not trying to be the nice guy and "win" her favors. I am more confident in myself and out to have fun. I have played with and am learning the real way to create attraction and it is working. My successes with the new me are just outstanding and I am enjoying my life and playing a lot more. I don't have to call for dates...they are calling me. Really attractive and quality women.

So I wanted to thank you for putting out the information that you do, in such a professional manner that us nice guys can see where we went wrong and how to fix it. Keep up the good work.

Sincerely
Tom

PS: Oh and by the way. The ex has noticed and wants back into my life. NO way in hell will I ever get back into her games again. She has lost the house, cars, clothes, her reputation, is in debt up to her eyebrows, etc. I could go on and on with what she has done to herself. Life is funny sometimes, but I have the ultimate revenge and it does taste good. Thanks.


So what can you learn from this story that will make you a wise man?

For starters, Tom didn’t just automatically blame everything on somebody else and assume no responsibility for what happened that led to his divorce. He buckled down and found information that gave him answers as to what happened and what he could change to make sure it didn’t happen again.

Lesson: Take personal responsibility when things don’t go as planned, figure out what happened, and learn how to make it go the right way.

Also note I only wrote a couple of paragraphs of advice targeted directly at those who are dating in "THE Man’s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage," yet Tom found lots of advice in it that helped him to be more successful in his dating life, BECAUSE HE WAS LOOKING FOR IT. For instance, he realized that the same process used to evaluate a current long-term relationship or marriage to see if it should be maintained can also be used to determine whether you should continue to date someone and to establish exactly what you want in future relationships. Good information isn’t always where you EXPECT to find it, but it is always WHERE YOU FIND IT, if you know what I mean.

Lesson: be ever-vigilant in looking for things that can make your life better; you may not find a pearl in every oyster, but finding a gold nugget lying in a pile of animal manure or a trash can doesn’t make it any less valuable than if it was found in a creek or a mine.
Tom also didn’t limit his options in solving his problems, and took advice to broaden his search. In "THE Man’s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage," I teach readers how to evaluate their relationship or marriage to determine if they should try to salvage it, because if you are grossly mismatched in areas like your personal value system or personal tastes, it’s never going to work because you will always be competing, compromising, sacrificing, or avoiding instead of cooperating, and your time and effort is far better applied to make a dignified and peaceful exit instead of beating a dead horse only to fail in the end and exit under fire after war is declared.

Included in the advice for those making such an exit are people to contact to help protect your assets in the event that a property settlement war does break out, and advice to seek out advice specific to succeeding in the dating game by Shelley McMurtry, F.J. Shark, John Alanis, Tiffany Taylor, David D’Angelo, etc., because jumping back into the dating game blind is one of the scariest things a person can do, and I’ve found their material to be very logical and rooted in real-world cause-and-effect relationships.

Instead of saying, “I’m tired of reading. I’ve done this before, I’m just going to jump in and it will be better this time,” Tom recognized that a recommendation from one good source of information about another source of information was likely a good call because no information seller will risk trashing his reputation by steering a customer in the wrong direction for an affiliate sale and blow any possibility of future direct sales.

Lesson: Know your limitations, and do everything you reasonably can to obtain help in overcoming them by seeking the advice of those who have succeeded before you.
And as big as they are, those are the small lessons. Look in Tom’s post script (the paragraph that follows the “P.S.,” which stands for “post script,” for those of you who skipped that class in high school). His ex has noticed the changes in him and wants back into his life! The dating gurus will often say that this can’t happen, but you must remember that in the dating world, that’s often correct. When you meet a stranger, your window of opportunity for creating attraction can be measured in minutes, maybe even a few seconds. But…

When you’ve been together for a while and your interest is fully vested, that window could be measured in YEARS in some cases, and months in almost all cases. Women like the protective feeling of stability, and will give you ample opportunity to make things right IF they see that you’re trying to do so.

Lesson: Even if the divorce is final, as long as she hasn’t filed for restraining orders (which indicate that all hope is indeed lost in nearly all cases in the long term, and in ALL cases in the short term), or some other man hasn’t created intense attraction within her (which usually results in a restraining order anyway), it’s NEVER too late to fix it as long as the compatibility is there to support it.
Also note he held her accountable for her mistakes, and that ultimately being held accountable and having to live the life that she chose was the worst punishment that could be heaped upon her.

Lesson: Justice is sweet, while revenge is a dish that simply should never be served, unless it’s “self-served.” War isn’t just “the most spectacular of all human endeavors” (General George S. Patton), it’s the most costly and utterly destructive, on any scale.
Here endeth the lessons. Right now, some of you are saying, “Geesh, that guy is long-winded. That’s annoying!” while others are thinking, “Wow! That guy must really care about this stuff, because it must have taken him a long time to put that together to share it with me, and look how much he just gave me!” I do, and it did, several hours in fact. Several hours that I could have spent with family and friends, building something in my beloved workshop or enjoying another hobby, cooking an elaborate gourmet dinner, or numerous other things for myself instead of for you. If you don’t need this much help from me, I’m happy for you, really, but I’m doing this to help people in crisis make their lives better just as much as I’m doing it to help other people keep their relationships from falling into crisis.

Lessons: Never look a gift horse in the mouth, and make the most of anything that comes your way.
Sorry, I couldn’t resist. Seriously, I have a lot to teach you and everybody else who needs it so that you can be wise and keep from making the mistakes that others have made before you. We hit the high spots here in this newsletter and in my blog posts, but dig deep into the tangled and dark nitty-gritty in "THE Man’s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage," and no matter what shape your relationship is in, there are many valuable lessons in there for you, lessons that will help you make your relationship better than it has ever been if you should be in it or help you get out of it with your dignity and a few dollars in your pocket and move on to find happiness elsewhere if you’re in the wrong relationship.

Your next move is to http://www.makingherhappy.com/ to download your copy of "THE Man’s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage" and get started, because life is too short to wait. Never put off until tomorrow the success and happiness you can have today! I’d also suggest you stop by our forum at http://forum.makingherhappy.com/ and look around. There may already be enough information posted there to help you get some of your problems under control, and there are friends to be made, a hobby section, and a lot more to hold your interest. Yes, I could have just made it another touchy-feely relationship psychology forum where the blind leads the blind and everybody commiserates and calls those who find there is no reason to continue a loser, but why? This way is a lot more fun for all of us, and a lot more useful, so come on over and check it out.

In the meantime, live well, be well, and have a wonderful day!
David Cunningham

Monday, April 11, 2011

Do Her Chores Include YOU? Curing the Doldrums of a Stale Relationship or Marriage

There’s a word for forced intimacy born of duty or guilt instead of passion: CHORE. Make your sex life – and HERS – a treat, not a chore! Here’s how…

I want to remind everyone that Facebook Connect has been successfully installed at our forum (http://forum.makingherhappy.com/) so you can easily share articles you like with friends, use Facebook’s “Like” feature, etc. It is not set up to automatically echo your posts to Facebook or anything like that, so if you have privacy concerns, you’re covered. We’re always on the lookout for more ways to make our forum more useful and entertaining for you, so if you have an idea or desire, please feel free to leave it in one of the suggestion box forums and we’ll see what we can do.

It’s another happy day, Ladies and Gentlemen! Here’s another couple who have used "THE Man’s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage" to make their relationship one of passion and excitement instead of a torturous, miserable, boring coexistence, and you can learn a lot from them. Meet Marti:

Dear David,

Due to changes in our marriage and the feeling my husband and I had for each other, a few months ago we decided that we either had to make major improvements or call it quits. In doing research for help and talking to friends your book was recommended to us. The couple that told us about you is one of the happiest couples we know, and they said that it is because they have simply used what they learned in your book. So we decided to dive right in and see what you could do for us.

My biggest problem was that I felt as if sex with him was a chore, not something to enjoy or even want. I guess maybe you have heard it all by now, but I felt like maybe I was not the only woman that had ever had these feelings and in writing you maybe you could share this with other women.

What made it worse was that I tried and tried to tell my husband that the passion was gone and that we were in a rut, but I couldn’t get through to him. I asked him countless times how he felt about our relationship and our intimate life, and he would just say that he didn’t have or see a problem, and that was the end of the discussion, never giving me the chance to tell him what I needed to tell him. I just laid there, thinking about other things, sometimes other people, waiting for him to finish so I could go to sleep.

Since we have now completed your book and have put into our everyday life what we learned in it I can say I shocked myself. Everything in our relationship is better than it’s ever been! There is nothing about sharing myself with him that even comes close to a chore now. In fact it is just the opposite. He listens to me, and we really talk now, not just about our sex life, but about everything! When we started tuning into each other it was like our dating and marriage up to that point had just been a practice run. We finally REALLY know each other, all the time, and it’s wonderful!

As for the bedroom, now all he has to do it give me “that look” or touch me in the small of my back or just on my arm and I find myself wanting him as close to me as possible. And when he teases me and cracks that naughty grin I just want to eat him up! Sometimes he starts in on me before we even get out of bed in the morning, caressing and teasing, and then laughs and jumps out of bed and tells me if I’m good I’ll get more when he gets home. I daydream about him touching me, kissing me, enjoying my body as I enjoy his throughout the day every time he does that. Oh God right now just thinking about it I feel like calling him to come home for lunch!

WOW how different our lives are now! Now I am always looking forward to bedtime instead of looking for excuses not to have to go to bed until he is asleep. I do things to get his attention instead of avoiding him, because he is fun and exciting to be around. My friends even comment on how much they enjoy being around him now, and they used to tell me that it was time to move on because he was such a stick in the mud and I could do better. You have saved our marriage in more ways than one and I just wanted to say “Thank you” for all your hard work and for making it easy for us to save what we had and get back what brought us together in the first place - and then some!

Love ya,
Marti



My reply:

Thank you for that, Marti! It always makes my day when I get a success story like this, one in which the couple has followed my recommendation to use my book together, and learned from each other as the process continued. "THE Man’s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage" was written for men partially because they have the most to learn, but also because it is the man’s job to take the lead, because taking the lead, even in the pursuit of enhancing attraction, is attractive to his female partner. You’re on the right track; just stay on it!

Take care, and keep in touch,
David


Notice that Marti doesn’t just talk about their sex-life reaching new levels. Their improved communication skills have brought them closer together, making their emotional intimacy more intense in addition to their physical intimacy; you may have noticed that she said she “asked him countless times how he felt about their relationship” and he would say it was fine and end the discussion without her getting to tell him what she needed to say. That’s the “asking questions to make a statement” mechanism at work as I’ve been describing it to you, a statement that she has a problem that she needs to discuss and that she wants the discussion to open NOW. A horribly common problem these days, but one that they will never again make, and one that you don’t have to make now that you know about it.

Being attractive to the woman you love obviously enhances your sex-life, but it also enhances the rest of your life together as well, often being the catalyst in escalating relationships between married couples (being pulled together by attraction makes couples want to explore other aspects of each other) who were functionally just roommates and/or business partners to true LIFE PARTNERS, friends, playmates, adventure partners – even better parents!

Or had it not occurred to you that it would be much easier to be better parents if you could communicate with each other more effectively and prepare a more unified front to present to the kids? And guess what else there, DAD…your daughters are “women-in-training,” and what you learn to communicate better with their mother will also help you to keep from drowning in that estrogen ocean when their hormones start surging and “Daddy’s little girl” turns into “Daddy’s little drama queen”!!! Daughters in their teens grow away from fathers for the same reason wives grow away from husbands, because he doesn’t understand them when they try to talk and they just get frustrated and give up. Don’t let them give up on you!

Gents, there is no downside here, and an unlimited upside. Opportunities like this don’t come along often, so take advantage of this one while you can. Go to http://www.makingherhappy.com/ and get your copy of "THE Man’s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage" for less than the cost of a good meal for two, and start reading, right now, before you waste another minute of your life, because life’s too short to be regarded as a chore, and if your wife regards you as a chore for long, she’s likely to tender her resignation, and take half or more of “the company” with her!

In the meantime, live well, be well, and have a wonderful day!
David Cunningham

Sunday, April 10, 2011

The Path to Real Manhood and a Great Relationship or Marriage, Part 4 of 4

My buddy David got everything out that he wanted to say to those of you who are to follow him, and now he’s followed up with a guiding principle to help you in your quest. Listen up, as the student once again becomes the teacher.

Before I get into today’s lesson, I’m sure some of you have noticed I’ve missed a couple of days in the last couple of weeks, and I want to assure you that it’s not because I’m getting lax or that this project has been bumped down on my priority list. There simply has been more than the usual amount of pandemonium (floods and storm damage, computer issues, selling a car, family issues, etc.) and even on as little sleep as I need, there just haven’t been enough hours in some days to post.

It might surprise you to know that even though many of these editions have been dispatched before, even those editions take an hour to check to make sure the content is still current, see if anything needs to be added, dropped, corrected, or better explained, and then post it to various blogs and social networking sites for everyone’s convenience. I don’t begrudge a minute of it, and in fact enjoy most of that process and answering the resulting questions that arrive in e-mail, blog comments, and forum posts, but there are times when I finish the day with a longer to-do list than I started with in spite of working steadily all day long. It’s just the nature of self-employment.

Indeed, I laugh sometimes when I hear somebody who has been punching a clock for 30 years say, “Boy, I wish I was self-employed. Make all that money and just work when I wanted to. You got it made.” Well, here’s a surprise for any of you who are contemplating self-employment: when an economy slows down and sales slow down because of it, you don’t work less; you work MORE. There’s nobody to pass the buck to. Good, bad, or indifferent, it stops with you. The freedom to make the choices in where your career goes comes with the responsibility to make those things happen. It’s rather like choosing a spouse: the freedom to choose to marry whomever you want comes with the responsibility – to yourself and to the other party – to choose wisely and deliberately. That’s our job, guys: rational, effective leadership through even the most emotional events and situations.

Speaking of which… ;-)

You’ve been enjoying the letters of my buddy David (“Think-First” on our forum, http://forum.makingherhappy.com/, a real master of the principles I teach), who has been swelling your brains for the last few days with vital lessons and examples of what and who a man needs to be, why he should do it, why he will ENJOY IT, and how to get there. When I woke up this morning he had dropped something else in the mail that all of you will find useful when you decide to get off the fence and get in the game, observations and explanations of what he’s already been through that doesn’t work, and further guidance in what does. Your undivided attention for about five minutes, please:

Good Morning!

I didn't really get to the sickening parts of all the crap out there about being an Alpha Male. I was having several brainstorms at once while writing it and lost track a few times. Pointing out examples was one way of highlighting some of the behavior in an obvious way.

However, we come to the White Knight Syndrome of delusion. While many men mired in the BS of what they think are romantic ideals picture themselves being the White Knight coming to rescue their princess in the dark castle of the evil king, she's dreaming of the stable boy. She knows a codependent and an approval-seeker when she sees one.

While men may picture themselves as the Macho Man proving his manhood on the weak and less fortunate by being the bully, she's having fantasies of the mail clerk teasing the secretary. She knows if he’s bullying everyone else, he’ll want to bully her, too, and she wants a leader, not a bully.

While he's cruising the streets showing the trappings of success in his new Escalade, BMW, Mercedes, or Corvette, she's fantasizing about the guy driving his girl down the street on his Moped, weaving around just enough to get her laughing and screaming in delight. She knows that a man who thinks he needs devices to impress people has nothing within him that will do the job, and only those who don’t have to try to impress anyone and don’t care to are the only ones who can.

While he's checking himself out in the glass as they walk by the stores to make sure his clothes and hair are just so, she's checking out the guy in t-shirt and jeans who just dropped an ice cube down his girlfriends blouse when she thought he was putting his arm around her. She knows that a while a man needs to be well-groomed to project respect, a man who’s that worried about his looks isn’t going to have time to have fun with her.

While he's proving his sensitivity by tearing up at the sad scene in the movie, she's tearing up over the desire for the guy rolling his eyes, throwing out his lower lip in mock pout and teasing his lady about it. She knows that she needs a man who can bring her out of an emotional quagmire, not sit and drown in it with her.

An Alpha Male lives by the KISS principle. Keep It Simple Stupid. That's why it's such a relief to free yourself to be the man you were meant to be. Sure, you'll be fighting the urge to habitually commit further atrocities of wimpdom until you learn to recognize that they are not part of your natural behavior and stop them before they happen, but now you'll be equipped with a vigilant eye to root them out.

When you stop trying to figure out what you should do and do what your instincts and understanding tell you is right, confidence begins to soar. When you stop trying to act the part and live it, stress goes further and further away. It doesn't mean things don't happen that try any man’s soul. It means you now have the means to act freely, decisively, vigorously and with gusto, and move on.

In your relationship you respond in a natural way. You don't have to figure out what you should be doing, you know. Like the man in your favorite poem, “Invictus,” wherever he is, he is free. Like the bird who fell from the tree without feeling sorry for itself, he is not whining about his present circumstances but relishing the freedom with which he lives. He will not apologize for himself. Feel sorry about it. Or rail against the circumstances that brought him there. He responds to the world from a heart and mind free of complication. No matter how hard others may try to cage him, he will always be free.

He will be open to learning new skills and new talents, and accepting and learning from mistakes he has made. And will triumph over them all. He will always understand this does not give him a license to bully, belittle or demean others. Far from it. While he may have little patience for a wimp, he will gladly work with anyone willing to discover for himself how he too can be who he was meant to be. And he’ll just as quickly take the bully off at the knees if need be, because he has the goods that the bully wants everyone to THINK he has.

From fear to freedom. The journey of any man willing to KISS his old life as a wuss goodbye and be reborn as the man he was intended to be. The man he is right now. Shedding his old dried skin and walking fresh and clean, hungry for new challenges. Instead of whining and bemoaning his present state, he seeks answers. If your relationship is heading south, resentment, boredom and confusion the rule of the day, stop making it worse by floundering around. KISS it. Believe me, she'll love and respect you for it in ways you would not have believed. When you simplify your life by being true to yourself, leading and taking charge, her life becomes simpler as well. Her stress goes down. She is now free to KISS you as well. Like Ripley with the Alien dragon, she will fight any and all comers to protect her Man. She will be at your side in full power, glory and beauty to support, nurture and delight you as you journey together.

Forget fantasy. It can’t even come close to what you can have in real life. One KISSed by freedom, fun and happiness. Like Occam's razor, the simplest answer is the best. Adding complications only moves you away from the sharp edge of truth. That sharp edge is not there to cut you. It's there to cut away the crap weighing you down. Remove the burden of trying, pretending and acting and live free to move, run and laugh at the rain.

Off to work,

David


Folks, I don’t think there’s much I can add to that. I’ve been saying exactly the same thing for years: You can live a life of complication, fear, deceit, and discomfort, or you can be yourself and enjoy your life. Unless you have been severely deprived of testosterone during childhood and developed without its masculinizing influence, what David and I have been describing is your natural state, not the act you’ve been putting on, or more accurately, the world that has been pulled over your eyes to hide from you your true identity – and birthright.

No, I’m not going to start into “red pill or blue pill” metaphors from The Matrix. But I will tell you that the only regrets in life are the things you didn’t try, the risks you never took. What happens when you can no longer hide from your life by working late, or having an affair, or when you find that your wife is tired of hiding from her life and serves you the divorce papers because she’s finally met the stable boy, or the mail clerk, the guy on the moped, or the Harley? Or that “bad boy” that convinces her that she needs to take everything you have so he can enjoy it with her? That’s when regret sets in, and that’s when you’ll remember that you had the chance to fix it while it was still easy, but stayed on the fence instead of getting in the game.

Sitting on the fence will get you nothing more than a big splinter in your ass. Period. If you’re moving, even if you’re moving in the wrong direction, you can make a course correction; if you’re not moving, your dying, rotting away. So unless your relationship or marriage is everything you – and she – want it to be (and we both know if it were you’d be doing something else right now!), it’s time for you to go to http://www.makingherhappy.com/ and download your copy of "THE Man's Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage" and get in the game while it’s still fun to play.

In the meantime, live well, be well, and have a wonderful day!
David Cunningham