Wednesday, October 05, 2011

Turning Back the Clock to Better Days, a HUGE Boost to Your Relationship and Marriage

Familiarity may eventually breed contempt, but in the nearer term, it’s going to breed boredom as couples fall into a rut. Here’s a great way to get out of it…

Did you ever wish you could turn back the clock, to a time when your relationship was fun and exciting? When laughing, naughty play, and earth-shaking physical encounters were not a matter of “if,” but of “WHEN”? Think about what brought you to the point of making that wish, and you’ll quickly see why I tell you that you can turn back the clock in an instant.

What did you do when you were in high school, hormones raging, not having yet learned that rejection happens more often than not, not having grown too accustomed to seeing your wife in a baggy robe or sweat suit with hair and make-up unattended, not yet beaten down by a job you don’t like, kids screaming in the middle of the night, etc.?

Or if it wasn’t you that did what I’m about to talk about because you were already too timid and insecure to score a great date on the weekend, do you remember what the other guys did, the ones who did enjoy that success and bragged about it every Monday morning when everybody returned to class to either tell of high adventure on date night or lament having spent another weekend playing video games?

Regardless of which side of the fence you were on, it’s time to go back to high school, and if you did it wrong before, it’s time to do it right. It’s all in the naughty play, projecting the attitude that you’re all about the fun, not about needing sex or approval. It’s about having adventures, like sneaking away to a seedy hotel, or making out in the back seat of your car. It’s about surprise picnics that lead to sneaky sex in the woods, covert caresses when the kids (or the other people in the grocery store) aren’t looking.

In short, it’s about doing all those things that you did when your relationship was fresh, new, exciting, and hotter than a freshly fornicated fox in a forest fire, or learning how to just do all those things you wanted to do then instead of being afraid of rejection. It’s not so hard as you’re thinking…

Women live in a state of needing a higher level of emotional energy going at any given time than we men need. Hence, they delight in anything that gets it going, especially having a man genuinely enjoying having fun with them – WITH THEM, mind you, NOT AT THEIR EXPENSE; fun, not cruel. Both positive and negative emotion will work, and you have the opportunity to make it positive before she takes matters into her own hands and starts a fight to blow off some steam.

Yes, women do that, and the reason is perfectly simple: It’s far easier and faster for her to create negative energy than positive. Something positive takes time, cooperation, and/or planning, where negative simply takes a choice to take something the wrong way, or get mad about something benign. And you get to decide which it’s going to be if you’re on your toes.

So when you see her bent over picking something up, don’t just stare at her butt and wish you could squeeze it, SQUEEZE IT! Pinch it enough to say, “I could have really lit you up!” but not enough to hurt. Spank it hard enough to make a noise but not enough to make it hurt. It’s the surprise and naughtiness, not any show of ownership or force, that gets the job done.

Or sneak up behind her and tickle her, or tug the waistband of her undies if it’s showing. Just get a rise out of her, preferably with something both fun and sexy, but at least something fun and playful. Get back in touch with that fearless, hormonally-driven teenager that you used to be, and do those things that you either did with impunity or that you wished you could do like the “popular guys” did. Why do you think they were so popular in the first place? Contrary to popular belief, it wasn’t their looks! It was their fun-loving, confident attitude. The ones with looks got a lot of first dates; the fun, confident ones had a lot of subsequent dates – not to mention steady relationships and sex!

If you find yourself having covert interludes outside your house, don’t just do it and go home, celebrate it. Mark the spot as a favorite in your car’s navigation system (Garmin, TomTom, etc.), or keep a “covert mission log” together. Start a collection of tokens taken from this places of venture – a blade of grass, a piece of tree bark or a stone, a lid from a disposable drinking cup or bottle cap that held a celebratory drink afterward. Just anything she can tie the memory to and put in her treasure box.

Giving her something to remind her of all the fun that you have will stir up more longing for fun and avoid both the doldrums and the inexplicable explosion that ultimately comes when she gets bored, not to mention the affairs and other problems that will happen if the boredom goes on too long. And as the collection grows, put it somewhere that you see both see it, and when someone asks what it is, just smile and change the subject, upping the naughty level by maintaining an intimate secret that draws a wink every time you’re in the room where the “treasure” lives.

You can really get creative with that covert mission log, too. To create an extra adventure, find some way to record the position in terms of latitude and longitude (a GPS or Sat-Nav device is extremely handy for this) on a slip of paper with nothing else, and have your wife store the slips in her treasure box. Sometime in the future, have her extract one of these slips of paper from her treasure box, at random and use the latitude and longitude to try to find the spot. If you can find it within an hour or two, have a repeat performance to celebrate. Geocaching? Hah! And after all, it must be a good spot since it worked the first time! ;-)

I’m thinking about having a contest. The contest is I start a thread on our forum, http://forum.makingherhappy.com, in which everyone who cares to participate lists the most outrageous places they have ever had adventure nookie. No lewd descriptions of the nookie itself, just the place, and any remarks about how your spouse responded, i.e., “in the walk-in cooler at my dad’s restaurant after closing, and my wife is still talking about how fun it was ten years later.” Stuff like that. The prize would be a copy of my book. If interested, e-mail me at forum@makingherhappy.com and if there’s sufficient interest, I’ll set it up and we’ll do it.

This isn’t rocket science, gentlemen. It’s simply the result of knowing what women want and need, especially that part that is different from us, but yet not in conflict with us. It’s the result of knowing that women crave having us act like men instead of scared little boys or couch potatoes who revel in being born with two hands so that we can operate a remote control and a beer can at the same time. It’s the result of knowing what a man is, and what is natural for him to feel, and that it’s usually not just okay, but highly desirable, for him to act upon those feelings in all but extreme cases.

How do you learn all that? Easy! Go to http://www.makingherhappy.com and download your copy of "THE Man's Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage," and spend a few hours reading the wisdom of the ages, that which women have proven that they want you to know most, and then the rest of your life being a man, a real man, sought after by women and loved, adored and nurtured by his wife.

In the meantime, live well, be well, and have a wonderful day!
David Cunningham

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