Monday, August 29, 2011

The First Winners in Our Contest, With Lessons to Help Your Relationship and Marriage

I’ve not received a response so far this year in our contest from the King Arthur and the Witch story that is worthy of winning a prize, so I’m extending the contest for more winners to enter!

For those of you joining us late, in yesterday’s edition, which you can view in the archive at, I announced a contest for the best lessons from that story that readers could pick out and submit, because it was full of them.

I’m disappointed to say that I’ve not received a mentionable response to this contest so far this year, because in years past, there have been some very insightful comments made by some of you. I’m going to print the winners from the past years here because they are quite brilliant, and I’m also going to extend the contest so if I receive any more really good ones before the deadline Sunday night at midnight, Mountain Time, the submitter will still get the prize. Get a load of these:

Hi David!

Yes I loved the story too! You did bring out some amazing points and very possibly the most important ones. I have a few you may find interesting as well. I think one very understated one but is so easily overlooked in many, many stories is the Ugly Swan.

Yes everyone else saw the "old crone", what a sacrifice it would be, etc., etc. Something which could be very easily overlooked is she obviously had the potential to be WHATEVER she chose at any moment all along. She, or any woman is perfectly capable of being as beautiful or as "crony" as she wants at ANY time.

Let's face it, we have all had relationships where the lady we couldn't be without, "turns" in to a waspish, mean, nagging crone we can't wait to be away from. Little realizing WE kept pushing her in that direction because we weren't being the man she needed. Responsibility can be a tough taskmaster unless we relish and see it for the liberating force it can truly be. I don't have your course but from the emails I've seen from you a lot of the principles are perfect for turning your crone back in to your queen.

Another part of this is it illustrates the women could very well be a cackling witch simply waiting for a real man to lead and allow her to be the woman she really wants to be all the time. How many "bitches", sorry for that, are really simply screaming for help, for a real man to stand up and say it like it is so she can relax, breathe and enjoy truly being herself? And making the man who reached her the luckiest guy this side of heaven in all the ways he never even imagined? Look out and make sure your health is tip-top because you're in for a ride buddy!

You can also learn from this story people will rarely tell you the real reasons why they do something. I am reading "Influence, The Psychology of Persuasion" by Robert Cialdini and this is brought out in many ways where people consistently never see the reasons why they acted how they did and even refused to accept those reasons when directly confronted with them. If asked, many women will say they want the wussie, fawning, put me on a pedestal little boy. But their actions, romance novels, magazine stories and certain movies all say something completely different.

Choosing your sources of information is absolutely crucial. We may not like or be afraid of finding out because if we do it will mean we will have to take responsibility and OWN it. That can be a very scary thing especially if we are already having confidence issues. It can seem like your being asked to throw yourself down and asking someone to kick you. That's not the case at all because when you find the answers you need, see them make the changes you want and create the excitement, the thrill you want so terribly in your relationship, you'll treasure that moment for life.

I could go on but this is already long so I will close and say THANK YOU for all of your great emails. I truly believe if people would just act on the emails alone it would give them a HUGE leg up on creating the success they want in their relationships. It just boggles the mind to think what it would be like putting your emails together with your book.

Sleep soundly and enjoy knowing you are reaching a great many more people and making a difference whether they say so or not. I will take this time as well to again say thank you and I look forward to all your emails. They are very special in every way. Just like you.

Thank You Very, Very MUCH!!


(2006 winner)

Dave is obviously an achiever, and very insightful. After reading "THE Man’s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage" and my two free reports (!) “Break-Up Busting 101,” and “What Women REALLY Want,” he has become an absolute master and guru in his own right, as well as a very close friend and valuable moderator on our forum, And by the way, he’s right; the content of these newsletters means a lot more to those who have read my book. They’re like continuing education lessons for them.

Now check out Karl, who’s letter clearly demonstrates the appropriate attitude for a real man and achiever:

Hi David,

The best lesson in the story is in the first paragraph - That being: If you can't figure something out for yourself, ask someone who CAN figure it out. It's worked a treat for me.

I win,

(2006 winner)

Karl entered expecting to win, and said so! Also notice that he placed a period after his name in closing, which some handwriting analysts say means he emphasizing that his is the last word on the subject, something you see in very confident personalities. Not everyone who comes to me is a wuss; some are very manly men who need help understanding women, others who need help communicating with them. Many are very manly men who have been led to believe that they need to act wussy in order to get on with women and are horribly unhappy putting on that act, and wanting relief from the stress of acting against their nature. All of them are getting help, because they’re taking Karl’s lesson one step further:

To deal with something they can’t figure out for themselves, they’re asking someone who has already figured it out, tested it, and succeeded with it, then went on to help others succeed with it, the very definition of a trusted source of information for those who know how to recognize it. Which brings me to an entry that I couldn’t have made up if I’d tried, and made me laugh so hard that I had to send him one just for the laugh. Meet Paul (who by the way, is a VERY important guy for reasons I can’t divulge without violating his privacy, but if any of you single ladies are in the NYC area, I really should introduce you to him, so e-mail me at and I’ll pass your address along to him):

Hello David,

I gather the lesson is as follows:

When your questions go unanswered and something is not working after a year and many people are advising you about a suggestion take their advice and spend whatever the advice will cost. Example: In this case many people advised King Arthur to seek the advice of the Old Witch, however Arthur felt the price would be too high and wasted precious time. How to relate this to today's time: When David is doling out terrific advise and your marriage is in the rut and all it cost is about what you would pay for a couple of movies and popcorn or beer and cigarettes then stop wasting time and purchase and read "THE Man's Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage." and save your Marriage.

PS David, if this entry wins, as I am still single, please donate your copy to next e-mail that you receive from someone whose marriage is on the rocks.

Kindest Regards
(2007’s winner)

As I told Paul, who is also a friend and truly a man among men, many of my readers have said that this book should be required reading in high school because in addition to helping you fix problems, it does a great job of preparing you to FIND that one in a million relationship that can be an effortless, happy, and life-long marriage. He’s single, and by the time he gets to the end of this book, he’ll be ready to find happiness in what I suspect is one of the world’s richest concentrations of high-quality single women, New York City.

Here’s a 2008 winner, who also ended up becoming a close friend later:

Hello, David,

I found several lessons. Like you, I am an Objectivist. So I saw Lancelot trade his single life for life with a crone because he would not choose to live without Arthur as king, just as a man might trade his single life for life with any woman because he would not choose to live without someone to lead, protect, and provide for, recognizing that there are benefits in both single and married life, some of which are mutually exclusive, and having the guts to make a decision about which he wanted and stick to it.

I saw that there is a lot of free information around, and that not much of it is useful. “Common sense” is today a misnomer. “Uncommon sense much more accurately describes what common sense used to refer to, the ability to think through something to a correct conclusion or functional remedy. There are always people around ready to give free advice, and most of them are merely parroting what they’ve heard others say with no idea of whether it works, or else telling you what they’ve done that didn’t work, but they think it should have and are looking for personal validation through your success where they failed, rather than hoping that you succeed.

Another thing that I noticed was that Lancelot went through with the wedding, and was going to go through with the honeymoon consummation as well. Just as many real men try to make the best of any situation without complaint. He “steeled” himself, instead of whining and lying about a headache or some other ailment.

And the part that struck me most was that he trusted his wife to make a decision if she had the guts to make it. I personally would never trust any decision a woman made after consulting a dozen girlfriends, because girlfriends are often too good at persuading other women to do something that is not in their best interest purely for the sake of drama, but I would trust a woman who would skip the drama and realize the gravity of the situation to make the best decision she was capable of and be open to discussing and negotiating it afterward.

Thanks in advance for the book!

I really don’t think I can or should add anything to Joel’s comments. His points struck me as self-evident as I read them. Joel had only been subscribing for a couple of weeks, and we quickly become very close friends after this. He is another guy who has no trouble being a man, but has some issues with evaluating women and relationships and communicating. He had to work a bit at growing tolerant of the indirect communications style his wife uses, because he’s hyper-analytical and efficiency-oriented and therefore driven to take the shortest path to anything, but he got there, and they’re good now.

So what about the rest of you? What lessons do you see that haven’t already been disclosed? There are still a few, and you’ll recognize them when pointed out after midnight if not before, but try to dig them out and send them in because I’m still inclined to award another copy if someone spots the one really super lesson that has yet to be reported. And if you don’t see one…

…take it as proof that you need to step up your efforts to learn and go to and download your copy of "THE Man’s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage". It is THE quickest path to happiness, as anyone who has used this book or whom I’ve coached will tell you. I don’t buy this crap of needing 10-30 weeks of counseling to straighten out a marriage or determine that it can’t survive. The facts of your life are right there before your eyes, and if you can identify and observe them without bias, you’ll know exactly what to do. After that, it’s just a matter of execution. So get busy! Life is short, too short to waste being unhappy, the clock is relentlessly ticking, and not a single tick can be regained once it has passed.

In the meantime, live well, be well, and have a wonderful day!
David Cunningham

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