Friday, May 07, 2010

Who's Seducing Whom? Kicking It Up a Notch in Your Relationship and Marriage

A reader says I never write about seduction. Really? Let’s take a closer look.

I received the strangest e-mail from one you gentlemen, and I’m still trying chuckling over it. He said I never talk about seduction, and wants to know how to get his wife into bed. I write about it frequently, so I’m going to spell it out to make sure that there is no misunderstanding from this point forward on anyone’s part:

One of the first symptoms of a relationship starting to fail is a decrease in the frequency and intensity of sex. It’s not just age and busy schedules, nor hormones. It’s the slipping away of attraction, which leaves a void that has a name: BOREDOM. (And guys, you know that boredom is the bane of a woman’s existence, her archenemy, right?)

So you see, celibacy isn’t so much a problem as a symptom of a bigger problem, just like affairs: the lack of fun and excitement that leads to attraction, which in turn leads to more frequent sexual encounters with your partner. It takes both love and attraction to hold the relationship together, and that’s why we must talk about it and make sure that it gets fixed if it’s broken.

Hence, the sexual goal (there are many goals, both sexual and non-sexual) of creating attraction isn’t to get your wife into bed, but to make her want to get YOU into bed! (Among the other obvious ones are the aforementioned fun and excitement that keeps life interesting.)

Yes! Really! A quick reality check: They get excited just like we do, just as much, just as often. They’re more sexually powerful than we are too! You don’t think so? Look around you. How many women do you know that have multiple “O’s” vs. how many men? Yeah, that’s what I thought. They enjoy the process of seduction just as much as, if not more than, we do, as long as we give them the motivation to do it and make it worth their while by taking the time to let them do it right. How’s that?

Well, in a great many cases, when a woman “does it right,” she’s actually seducing both of you. Tell them, girls! When women act sexy for us, it turns them on as well. When you escalate it by giving them a little of what they’re after, and then withdrawing a bit, the challenge and anticipation eats them alive with delight, and they get even sexier trying to take you both to that next level, where you reward her with a little bigger taste and then pull back a bit, two steps forward, one step back, until she finally can’t take any more and just jumps your bones outright!

Seriously, if you follow the advice in “THE Man’s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage” and learn the skills of attraction and sexual mastery it contains, even if your partner has never responded to you aggressively in the past, she will tear you up (as long as she’s not been emotionally damaged by some trauma, like a rape) when you start flipping those attraction triggers and then slowly building up the tension and anticipation for her as described.

So you see, nearly EVERYTHING I’ve been writing about concerning attraction and communication has also been about seduction, YOUR SEDUCTION, and heightened communications skills have an indirect yet nonetheless profound bearing on seduction as well – how to get your partner interested in you again, closer to you, excited to be around you, enjoying seeing you being the alpha male, being turned on by you being a naughty, manly man who jumps in and out of naughty mode, creating and building sexual tension until she MUST have you. It’s one of several fool-proof methods of eradicating boredom that I teach!

At our forum, http://forum.makingherhappy.com, we have women basically telling all the secrets of seduction. They’re very openly discussing the secrets of kissing, talking, and everything else that we men seem born doing badly. You really should drop by and check it out, because you wouldn’t believe how much is being disclosed in how little space.

The difference is subtle, but it’s profound, and for those who know the difference, the rewards are HUGE; hence, I’m going to keep writing about it, no matter how many newsletter editions and books it takes, until everybody who can “get it” does. Life is too short to live it lonely, celibate, and thinking that lonely and celibate or sneaking around in affairs are the only way to live, so go to http://www.makingherhappy.com and download your copy of “THE Man’s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage,” and start living the good life while you’ve got some life left to live!

In the meantime, live well, be well, and have a wonderful day!
David Cunningham

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