Thursday, April 01, 2010

Women's Biggest and Loudest Complaint About Men, and What You Can Do About It

Boredom is every woman’s arch-nemesis; it literally poisons them and threatens their life and sanity. How can you spot it, and what can you do about it? You’d better know, because left to her own devices, you may not be part of the solution, or if you are, you may be wishing you weren’t!

Any coffee lovers in the audience? I don’t mean people who drink a cup of coffee every morning; I mean coffee LOVERS. People for whom coffee is not just a shot of caffeine to give you a bump, but cuisine, something to be savored. I’m asking because I just finished a rather detailed how-to on coffee roasting, grinding, and brewing in the Hobbies section of our forum, , and if you’re finding your cup a little deficient or want to find out just how good it can get, you need to be a member. I roast coffee and am a trained barista who also occasionally trains baristas, among other things, and I charge about $200 to train people to do what I have described in sufficient detail on the forum for you to do expertly if you will only take the time to read and learn. I’m serious about making this thing go, serious about making it helpful, not just in relationships but in enjoying life in general, and I’m serious about you missing out if you’re not involved.

Why a hobbies section on a relationship and marriage help forum? Well, for starters, it’s as much of a man-building forum as a relationship and marriage help forum; some would say more so, since manning up is the single greatest thing you can do to both improve your life and improve your relationship. And every man needs at least one hobby. Period. A real hobby that can give him something useful to learn and challenging to do, not trying to catch every episode of “Manswers” on TV or try to make it through his sixth beer every evening before falling asleep. A man needs multiple sources of challenge and self-esteem, and most women will tell you that they perceive a man without a hobby as a man whose life is not in order. I couldn’t argue with them, and if restricted to the facts, neither could you.

You have kids, you say? You have a business, you say? So what? If you can’t make at least a few minutes a day a few times each week for the pleasure of a hobby, you’re life IS out of order, because your PRIORITIES are out of order. Don’t let your schedule, your finances, your family, etc., run you into the ground. Learn to set priorities, and learn to say “yes” and “no” when people have earned them, and to reserve some personal time for personal challenges, personal pleasures and personal improvement, lest you become the proverbial “very dull boy.”

When I was researching "THE Man's Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage" women’s biggest and loudest complaint about their men could be summed up in a single word: “BORING.” It’s the last word you ever want to hear a woman use to describe you in any interaction with them, no matter who they are or the nature of the relationship.

I received a letter that I want to share with you, because in one respect it’s sad and in another it’s downright annoying. It’s both sad and annoying that this man’s answers have been in front of his face for months, and he’s simply ignored them while the rest of my reader community has been succeeding. Meet Dan:

Dear David,

I am writing this letter in hopes you can help me. It seems of late that my wife is not as interested in me as she used to be. I have tried all types of things to get her back to where we were a year ago when we got married, but nothing seems to work. I feel neglected, and it’s starting to feel like she is getting bored with me. The tone in her voice is different and sometimes she makes me feel like I am just a toy to be used when she needs one.

I want her back the way it was when we had fun and I was not worried about upsetting her with what I had to say. I love this woman in every way possible and can not imagine my life without her in it. It’s just like I never say the right thing to her anymore. Could you please tell me what I could be doing wrong?

Thank you for your time,

My reply:

Yes, Dan, I can, but before I do, I want to ask you a question: I get letters literally every day from people who read this newsletter and especially those who are using "THE Man’s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage" talking about the great results they get and how fast they get them, and how their wives no longer see them as a boring dolt, but as exciting and fun. You’ve been subscribing for several months now. Do you know why are you not getting the same results?

The short answer is because you’re not really reading these newsletters, which describe all these problems to you, and you’ve not yet read and used "THE Man’s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage" in your relationship to recognize and fix these problems. I give more advice on this subject than any other, and more free advice in these newsletters than most authors provide in their premium products, and you simply haven’t been paying attention. Now your situation has become critical, so listen up while you still have a chance to fix this.

Your wife is indeed bored, and if you’ve been reading even a small percentage of the newsletters I’ve been sending you every day you know that she needs you to do something about it. That’s your job as her husband. Take responsibility and get it done.

You should also know by now that she has been trying to communicate precisely what she needs to you, but because you and she are not wired with the same biological communications circuits, you’ve not been hearing her, and she’s thinking that you’ve heard her and chosen to ignore her. That’s a bad problem, and the reason that she is now making you feel neglected.

In addition, you should know that what she is needing for you to do to break her boredom is to create attraction for her, to give her that “swept off her feet” feeling from time to time, which gets her neurotransmitters, endorphins, hormones, and everything else in balance, saving her from that antsy torment that causes women to seek and create drama to substitute for the attraction you are failing to create.

The other thing that you should know by now is that if you don’t do something about this, she will, and at best, you’ll find yourself dealing with the spill-over from the drama she creates and at worst you’ll be dealing with affairs and even divorce that are used in a last-ditch effort to communicate to you that either you shape up or one of you is shipping out, if she gives you that last chance; many women will just divorce a man outright without a second thought once you let them go this far if another man creates attraction for them.

Obviously, the thing to do to fix all this is to go ahead and get your copy of "THE Man’s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage" and put it to work. Depending on how fast you read, the average person can get through it the first time in 2-4 hours, and it’s a book that you’ll want to re-read periodically as your experience base broadens and your skills develop.

In its pages, you will learn how to evaluate yourself, your wife, and your relationship, making it easier for you to know what’s broken before you start trying to fix things, or if you and your wife are so mismatched that fixing it will never be possible. You’ll learn how she communicates, so that you can finally pick up on all those signals that you’ve been missing all your life. You’ll know what makes women tick in general, and what they want, and with your newly-developed communications skills, will know your wife so well that she’ll describe you to her friends as “he always just knows what I want.”

And finally, you’ll learn about attraction, what creates it and what kills it, and that because it is a biological, not logical, process, you will always be able to give your wife that “swept off her feet” feeling that keeps the two of you intimate and keeps your life fun and exciting, both in and out of the bedroom, and save her from her arch-enemy, boredom. Big hint: what she requires most is that YOU enjoy YOUR life, so it’s not like you have to learn to cater to her.

So there it is, Dan (and YOU!), all spelled out. All that’s left for you to do is go to, download your copy of "THE Man’s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage" and put it to work for you, because it’s the best thing you as a man can do for your marriage, and one of the most fun things you’ll do in your entire life to boot!

In the meantime, live well, be well, and have a wonderful day!
David Cunningham

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