Saturday, August 01, 2009

What Rudyard Kipling Knew About Being a Man and Having a Great Relationship and Marriage

The great poet Rudyard Kipling knew a lot about being a man, the kind man that every woman wants, and unlike most poets, his poetic liberties were taken only with his choice of words, not with the image of a man as he is born and should live. Check this out…

As a general rule, I don’t have a lot of use for most poets. I enjoy good poetry as much as anyone else, but I’m told I’m a picky bastard when it comes to what constitutes good poetry. Indeed, I just avoid anything that would argue against being human, being a man, being happy being a man, or being attractive as a result of being happy being a man, and enjoy art and poetry that celebrates life, reality, and all of the above. You should, too. Think with me for a minute or two:

For me, and any Objectivist, fact and reality are the keys to the universe, and humans are acknowledged as being the top of the food chain because we are the only species that has the power of reason, granting us the ability to use facts to improve our lives and standard of living beyond the bare minimum requirements for survival; we are the only species of life on the planet able to do this. This makes us at least somewhat heroic, as we go beyond what all other life forms do in the pursuit and achievement of excellence.

For us, art, in all its forms must imitate and enhance life, not mock it, distort it, disparage or discourage it. It should be uplifting and inspiring or it serves no productive purpose. Hence, poetry, prose, music, plays, and films that reject or distort reality, or attempt to socially engineer our actions to go against that which we are born to be, is offensive, and there’s a lot of so-called “art” that falls into that category. Pretty direct and pretty simple.

I’ve published
W.E. Henley’s “Invictus” in more than one newsletter because it is such an uplifting work, along with some translator’s notes based upon Henley’s own comments because his choice of language and the period in which he wrote it made parts of it a little difficult to decipher enough see the picture that Henley was trying to paint with his words, but that won’t be necessary with Kipling…

He describes the man women want to know and love in great detail, calling out characteristics of leadership, confidence, character, courage, sense of humor, and everything else women want with example after example of the behaviors that flow from having an attitude proper to a man. Study and learn from him.

Without further ado, Rudyard Kipling’s “If”:

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!

This was passed on to me by one of my star students, a top executive in a very large company who is about as much a real guy as you’ll ever meet; despite a six-figure income he eats mostly game he kills himself and builds furniture in his workshop when he needs something. It’s not a matter of what he can afford, it’s the satisfaction and pride that a man feels in being competent, self-sufficient, and entirely independent that motivates him. (After reading "THE Man’s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage," he’s a recruiting poster for ultimate males who know exactly what women want, say, and think and know how to respond!) Here’s what he had to say when he passed this poem on to me:

“I've had this posted in my office for years - one of only two things of the sort - I'm sure you've read it, but it's a newsletter in itself, I think. Men were better in those days.“

He’s right. Men were better in those days, before we all fell under the spell of bad programming that made us believe – in spite of generations of evidence to the contrary – that women want a nice guy who cries in public – and in her presence -- and leaves all the decisions up to her. But men are getting better…

They’re reading "THE Man’s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage," and their partners are responding as they shed this old programming and learn things that most men never knew about understanding and communicating with women to boot! Break-ups and divorces are being stopped, sometimes in as little as a week, as men find out that the root of their problem was some combination of being a wuss, not understanding what their wife was telling them, and allowing their wife (or girlfriend) to become bored and recognizing neither their part nor their responsibility in that mistake.

The causes were simple but mysterious, yet the cure is simple, not mysterious at all, and no longer has to elude you. Simply go to and download your copy of "THE Man’s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage," right now, and get your relationship back on track, quickly, or just go right ahead and keep thinking that those conversations and romantic interludes in the bedroom that are growing shorter and less frequent don’t really mean anything, and then come see me when she says she’s leaving and it’s ten times harder to stop and reverse the damage. The hard way, or the easy way – what’s your choice? Choose well, because your relationship and a good chunk of your life is riding on it.

In the meantime, live well, be well, and have a wonderful day!
David Cunningham

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