Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Can You Do What Works to Fix YOUR Relationship and Marriage? Sure You Can, and It's FUN!

A great example from an average guy of how to turn an uncomfortable situation into an instant attraction builder, the kind of thing that can stop a divorce cold in its tracks.

I hope your week is going well. Mine is going great. I’ve received some truly wonderful success stories over the last few days, and I’d like to share one with you today. These stories always make my day, because they confirm not only that the information in “THE Man’s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage” will make a positive impact on any relationship in which it is employed, but also that any man can put it to good use and turn his life and relationship around, regardless of history, personality, etc.

Meet Jay:

Hi David,

I just had to tell someone about an incredible response I had from my wife's best friend. This woman has never liked me, she even told my wife not to marry me. I have not told my wife or anyone else that I have your book, but I have been using it to slowly change my attitude back to they way I was before I became "whipped".

Anyway, back to the best friend story. My wife and I were at a community event when she started to tell her friend that we had enrolled in ballroom dance lessons. I was very self-conscious about everyone knowing this. But to shift the attention from me I began to tease her friend and bust on her for not really being able to dance herself. After a few minutes of quick verbal jabs between us, she grabbed my arm and said, "I've never seen this side of you before, you’re a bad boy."

During the entire exchange I had my arm around my wife holding her while she was holding onto me. When we got home we barely got our children to bed before she jumped me right in the kitchen. It was of the most intense sexual encounters of our life. The attraction between us seems to grow stronger every day. I just had to tell someone! I never knew how good I could have it, until I started acting like a man, and not apologize for it.

Thanks,
Jay

Jay’s been married over ten years, and in the last year they were talking about divorce, before Jay read “THE Man’s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage.” As you can see, he’s not only turned things around on the home front, he’s reaping the benefits of understanding inter-gender communications and attraction all around him. Think about what’s happened in this scenario for a minute…

Jay was uncomfortable about having something private like those dance lessons disclosed publicly, but he knew from reading "THE Man’s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage" that women talk about everything and that she may have even been talking about it in front of him to put him on the spot and test his mettle. He knew that jumping down her throat for putting him on the spot was the wrong thing to do because it telegraphs insecurity. He also knew that leadership is attractive and exciting to women and bullying or throwing a tantrum repels them, and he took charge of the conversation and led it in a different direction, using what he knew of creating attraction to not only shift the focus of the discussion, but make it fun and interesting for the women. But that’s not all…

He knew that the approval of his partner’s best friend is a huge benefit in his own relationship because of the reinforcement or damage she can provide with his partner, and he knew that approval-seeking behavior is a great way to instantly become disgusting and repulsive to any woman, so instead of seeking her approval, he did something that left her no choice but to approve: he expressed his approval of her by joking and flirting with her! That could have blown up in his face, but…

With his new understanding of how women think and what they want, he understood that it was critical that while he was flirting with his partner’s best friend that he define the bonds and boundaries in the situation by remaining in physical and visual contact with his wife, which he did by keeping his arm around her waist (and probably frequently looking at her as they laughed together while he picked on her friend). Do you understand what happened here?

In flirting with the best friend and invoking attraction in her, he created an air of “social validation” for his partner. She didn’t just enjoy seeing him acting like a man, she saw that her friend also enjoyed it and saw her involuntary signals as she responded to the attraction he created, heightening her own attraction for him. The end result?

Short-term, a mind-blowing experience in the kitchen that exceeded anything he had known previously, and in the long-term, their bond is now stronger because she is more attracted to him and enjoys him more. As long as Jay continues to just act naturally, based on what he has learned, and just let himself act like the charming, witty leader that he is, his wife’s pleasure in having him around will continue to escalate in a slow, sustainable manner for the rest of their life together.

Something that Jay may not yet realize, but will soon, is that now that he is attracting her friends as well, every time she talks with her friends about him, all these memories she is building of his attractive behavior will wash over her like a flood, and be amplified by the envy of her friends – he now has the help of her entire network of friends to bring her even closer to him.

When Jay first wrote to me, he sounded like about every other guy who writes; he knew there were some shortcomings, knew he needed to fix them, and knew he needed some good information to do so. He got the information, and put it to use instead of sitting around like a wuss saying, “Can I do this?”

Don’t bother asking if you can do it. You can! Take Nike’s lead and “Just do it!” All you need is the same good information that Jay had.

So it’s your choice. Do you sit on the fence or do you finally hop off the fence and step up to the plate? The people who are hopping off the fence are hitting, and you’re up. Your options are to pass the bat, and eventually let your family be broken up and lose half or more of everything you own, or step up, download your copy at
http://www.makingherhappy.com, and swing for the fence, keeping your family together and all that stuff you’ve worked half your life or more to earn and save. Quitters never win, and winners never quit, so go for it, right now, because life’s too short to spend it sitting on the fence watching everybody else enjoy their life.

In the meantime, live well, be well, and have a wonderful day!
David Cunningham

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